Pop Sucks
My dad has a theory about great art. He says that it transcends language, borders, and time. A man in the Philippines could pick up a copy of Pride and Prejudice and learn something about the human condition. That’s what pop music is. ‘Yesterday’ holds a Guinness World Record for the most recorded song of all time; by 1972, there were 1,186 versions by artists as varied as Frank Sinatra, Otis Redding and Willie Nelson.Jeffrey Lewis’ ‘Williamsburg Will Oldham Horror’ has not been covered as many times. Why? Because ‘Yesterday’ embodies a sentiment that everyone has felt at one point in their lives. Pop music is the music of the people. It’s not elitist. Pop music is life distilled down to the very essence. It focuses on emotions, on experiences, on things that everyone shares and can understand. That’s why it’s popular- from the Latin word ‘popularis’- of the people. It’s music of the people. It’s everyone’s. Pop music doesn’t discriminate. It’s like the epiphany in a short story. At the beginning of the short story, the character’s life is one way, and at the end of the short story, the character’s life will never be the same again. It’s not about a monumental, life-changing moment. Marc Bolan wasn’t saying anything in ‘Bang A Gong’. The fact was that he was banging the gong though, and getting it on, and having a fantastic time doing it. Inside every pop song is a note that resonates deep within someone, somewhere. For example, Pete Townshend became obsessed with the way Robinson sang the word substitute in the song ‘Tracks of My Tears’ (“Although she may be cute/she’s just a substitute”). He was so entranced with the delivery that ” I decided to celebrate the word itself with a song all its own”. The result was the Who’s 1966 hit “Substitute.” That’s what pop music is about. The moment in question may take place on a dancefloor, with a lover, or home alone by the telephone, but during those three minutes, life is distilled down to its very essence.

Gareth argues that all pop music is derivative, consumer-orientated drivel, while ‘authentic’ music is innovative and is artistically pure. Innovative? Bob Dylan wrote ‘Blowin’ in the Wind’ in ten minutes, lifting the tune from an old spiritual that he picked up from Carter Family records. Artistically pure? In 1963, Paul McCartney said to Brian Epstein- ‘We’re not going to America till we’ve got a Number One record’. So he and John Lennon went and intensively wrote “I Want to Hold Your Hand,” and on February 7th, 1964, the Beatles entered America the way they wanted: at number one. Nirvana’s ‘Smells like Teen Spirit’ was Kurt Cobain’s attempt to “write the ultimate pop song”. The reason that the song worked so well was the marriage between Cobain’s sneering, raging, alienated lyrics, and an unguarded pop sensibility in his delivery. One of the main problems that Credible Music Journalists have with pop music is that it seems ‘faceless’, that it’s merely a production line of canny writers and pretty faces. Does it matter though, that the songs aren’t sung by their writers? ‘Be My Baby’, written by three people, sung by one, is Brian Wilson’s favourite song, and possibly the greatest pop song ever written. Though Pete Waterman has either produced or co-written 22 number one singles, he remains an object of critical scorn. Why? Because he knows what the public want, and, sometimes, what they need. In 1982 he helped popularize reggae in the U.K. by promoting Susan Cadogan’s ‘Hurts So Good’. That’s the thing: Pop music has no boundaries. Absolutely everything is fair game. You’re a 16 year old rapper who wants to sample Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony for your debut single? A+ did so in 1999. Want to write about your failed marriage and have your wife sing the lyrics? Off you go, Bjorn Ulvaeus. In 1984 Prince released an avant-garde pop song with complex lyrics and no bass track, claiming -‘Nobody would have the balls to do this. You just wait — they’ll be freaking.’ ‘When Doves Cry’ went on to become the years biggest single. In a recent interview with ‘Pop’ magazine, Neil Tennant of the Pet Shop Boys expressed his admiration for Trevor Horn and the creative team at Xenomania:

‘I very much liked the single ‘Biology’ by Girls Aloud. I think that was an amazing single. It’s funny ‘cause it’s nothing like anything Xenomania or Girls Aloud have ever done. It exists in its own world…Personally I could disappear into a room upstairs at Xenomania and become part of the factory writing for Girls Aloud. I’d be quite happy, actually.’
At the end of the day, music is music is music. There should be no reason for me to have to ‘defend’ a genre of music that I, and millions of others truly enjoy. Pop is big and pop is clever. To put a kibosh on an entire genre of music isn’t learned, it’s ignorant. By excluding pop music, by default, anything that has any chart success at all, ever, is automatically barred. That means no Jay-Z. That means no Bruce Springsteen. For fuck’s sake, it means no Beatles. While I’m not arguing for the inclusion of every single artist on the current Top 30, I feel that it’s a disservice to Analogue’s readers not to include acts on basis of genre/popularity alone. However, I’m only one person on a team of many. In time, perhaps House Rules will be relaxed. When that time comes, apologies can be worded as follows, following the example of the empowered, vivacious and talented Keisha Buchanon, Heidi Range, and Amelle Berrabah :
‘Can we bring yesterday back around?
Cause I know how I feel about you now.
I was dumb, I was wrong, I let you down.
But I know how I feel about you now.’

Now that is a brutal simile, bravo! :)

Not all hipsters drink coffee, but that’s for a later e-mail.